Of Heaven and Hell

Here are some thoughts that have been on my mind regarding heaven and hell. Assume there is a heaven, as described by the major religions of the world. Given that heaven is so desirable, I'd would like to know :

• Will there be sports in heaven? What can an ardent fan of Indian cricket hope for? Are there going to be leagues? Who do I root for?
• What languages will be spoken in heaven? Maybe everyone in heaven communicate via telepathy. And if so, how far does thought travel? How does one listen to individuals with so much thought out there? Are there distances in heaven?
• Does heaven have any entertainment? I mean if we aspire to spend eternity there, it should have all the channels of all the worlds, and in HD to boot! I don't remember any of the scriptures alluding to 60 inch Plasma TVs or HBO. Is it because the authors of the scriptures were not cognizant of 20th century electronics? Or is heaven a place that is beyond the ways of TV, radio and you-tube? How about music?
• Do people breathe air? If they do, why should they? If they don't, there is no need for air. And if there is no air, how can you have music?
• I am told that in the sweet hereafter, I will be re-united with all my loved ones. If so what "age" would my loved ones be? The age that everyone died? Or the same age -let us say 23?
• Which brings me to the next question - if a woman's husband died when he was 28 years old, and if she remarries another man at say, 35...in heaven, does she live with both her husbands?
• Do people reproduce in heaven? Or would all sex be for recreational purposes only?
  
• What the heck do I do for all of eternity? Play the Wii? Oh, wait....
  
• There is probably no hunger in heaven. If there is, what kind of food would we have? Mexican or Thai? Fruits and vegetables, and grains? What, no Brazilian steakhouses in heaven!?? OK, if all of heaven is vegetarian, who cleans up all the banana skins and the corn husk? Or maybe it is going to be all-you-can-eat buffet. With champagne and caviar!
• Would brandy be from Cognac and whiskey from Scotland? Maybe they have better stuff up there.